and then there was INTERNET!

Hola once again from my new abode known as the internet café called “Ciber”, where the people here know my name, where I’m from, and who I’m friends with because they’ve heard me skype with everyone I know…they also know every bad thought I’ve shared, mainly because I have an inability to talk in a low voice. Yes, I am American, occasionally I can’t help it, and they love me for it.

So this household Internet issue is getting more and more comical.

Today my señora and I played a game called: “watch what the router does”. The router has 5 lights…all of which indicate what parts of the internet are functioning, which to me seemed like a pretty basic thing to understand upon looking at the internet router, and I know nothing about technology. I previously tried to explain that because these lights were never on at the same time, this meant the internet wasn’t functioning, nor would it be able function without all these parts working together…However, telling my madre and people at IES this beforehand apparently just made me come off as an idiot. One of the directors called me yesterday to literally ask me if I knew how to push the button to turn on the machine, as my madre had previously explained to me as well…I thought I was going to kill him. Although the perception that I am a retard may have been in part this language barrier problem, but I believe it has more to do with the fact that I call every part of a technological thing a “thing” in English, and therefore in Spanish too, which probably didn’t help my case.

But alas, to hopefully come toward a solution to this Internet problem in the near future, today I proved myself to be a technological genius to my madre. Just a mere couple of hours ago my señora and I sat and watched the router for a freakin half hour while I reiterated what I said the day before. She saw on her own computer that when those lights aren’t on together, that her internet doesn’t work either, thus, she now respects my specialized and in-depth knowledge of technology. And now she and IES are willing to help me with my home Internet issue. I just got the email stating they would come help me next week, since they just talked to my señora...WIN. Halleujah.

I’m fairly sure I was suicidal yesterday, and I’m going to blame my Spanish for this one. I know I make it sound like I’m bad at Spanish, but I’m actually really not. However, immersion=no English EVER, no English means using what you know in Spanish to describe things you can barely understand in English…Between class scheduling mayhem, the internet issue, Ms. Devigne telling me I won’t graduate on time (well that’s a general issue, not as much to do with language barriers) and my extensive chats with various administrative (Spanish-speaking) people in IES yesterday about my many issues with seemingly everything…I really thought I was going to explode. I also attempted to get internet for myself at Cortes Inglés, but duh, me buying technology in English is a problem so why would it be better in Spanish... so that was never bound to work, and it obviously didn’t.

However, instead of getting upset about my many failures yesterday, I decided to participate in the midday wine tradition, as a true Spaniard would. This seemingly improved my mood and interactions with everyone around me. I think wine is going to be my new solution to all language barrier frustrations from now on. I now have a bottle of red wine called “Bach” that I bought yesterday for 4 Euro, my very own legal tranquilizer, if you will, that will be on call for events such as inability to understand my madre or explain necessities to those around me. All I need is a bottle opener and I will have my very own reality check, and as an added feature, I will also be able to speak Spanish fluently after a couple glasses. Most brilliant idea I’ve had yet.

Thank god for blogging. Now I can bitch to whomever, whenever I want. Next post is going to be really good because I’ll have had my first intercambio, which is basically a set-up hang out sesh with a Spaniard/spanish-speaker who wants to learn English. Además, me voy a saltar las paredes entre las culturas a este fin de. ¡OLÉ!

As for tonight…I’m watching Sevilla v. Madrid in a bar near plaza mayor…sorry friends in the south but my team will always be real Madrid….then I’ll be at a chupetería for Jana’s 21st birthday…and then I will somehow survive, and get up for my 9 am class. This will be interesting. Hastaaa lueegggooo