Yo soy masochista

Recent developments and realizations since I last posted:

My main realization is that I'm a masochist about learning Spanish...I had an intercambio yesterday (that I signed up for on a sketchy website..) for 3 hours where we hung and talked only in Spanish, and we agreed to meet every week. I may or may not be reading Twilight in Spanish...only because my señora gave it to me okaay...Twilight in English is against my religion. I'm also joining this club where one has to wear a red bracelet that indicates you will only speak and be spoken to in Spanish...obvi I'll be breaking that rule when I call home...but soo inteennsee. What is the real world like?

Other reasons why I'm a masochist/things that happen when the Puerto Ricans go to Madrid:

I joined the University of Salamanca Volleyball Team.
Yeah, you heard me. Volleyball is in fact useful for crossing cultural boundaries...or at least if you understand what the hell is going on. DAY 1=FAIL. Sooo, as you can imagine, a practice in Spanish is pretty difficult as it is, especially if you don’t understand the lingo AT ALL. Nothing we say in English really translated…even remotely....therefore I looked like a completely inept asshole for an entire practice. At the time it was pretty mortifying but right now its pretty hilarious. The coach, who happens to be a very tall man with rather thick glasses, would directly look at me and tell me to do something, and I, of course, would do the exact opposite of what he said. "Lexis! (because no Spaniard can pronounce "Lexi" so I've taken to telling everyone my name is Lexis/Alexis...Grandmother would be proud) Choca!", which I now understand to mean "Lexi! Set!"...but at the time I was positive he was telling me to serve...so I walked to the back line...like any true idiot would. He then grabbed me by the shoulders, placed me where I was supposed to be, took the ball out of my hands, looked me straight in the eye and demonstrated what to do, all whilst talking to me as if I were a child. Not the best for your self-esteem after you've been playing for 9 years, but hey, once again, I blame it on the Spanish. Although he did invite me back to practice with them, so not all is lost. The girls on the team are pretty cool though, although they all probably think I'm a massive idiot now too. Whoops, well at least there's next time. I'll let you know how it goes when it happens.

I’ve made Spanish friends/friends who I only have the language of Spanish in common with. FINALLY. I actually went out with them until 6 am last night..dying right now. Although now that I lost my phone (yup the Spanish phone is gone forever...RIP) I won't be able to get in contact with them again...sooo I may have just ruined that. Although Salamanca is a small enough city that I will most likely run into all of them again. I'm going to have to rely on a leap of faith or just make new friends...my other Spanish classes start on Monday so hopefully I make some new ones then lol.

My Señora and I now watch movies (without subtitles) together every day, although I'm fairly sure I need to re-watch all of them 5 times in order to really get what's going on. Almodovar's movies are complicated in English...let alone in Spanish. Look at me blaming the Spanish again. It's a reoccurring problem.

Some cultural things
1) Spanish house parties have way more alcohol than ours do.

2) That holiday I was talking about earlier…with the dancing women…apparently Castilla y Leon brings strippers, ahem MALE strippers, around just for the occasion. And yes, they get naked. Very naked.

3) Don’t ask a male Spaniard late at night where you can find churros/where you can eat in general…he will only tell you his house is around the corner, or tell you to go where he is going. There is no food where he is going.

And there you go. More advice to come, possibly tonight because I am watching the super bowl at 12am among Spaniards...should be interesting. I will also, once again, attempt to get up for my 9 am class tomorrow. Send luck my direction please.

besitos y me hecho de menos a todos

Los Yugos...

As promised...here is the weirdest lunch of my life...the scariest part is that these aren't even the bad pictures.

and then there was INTERNET!

Hola once again from my new abode known as the internet café called “Ciber”, where the people here know my name, where I’m from, and who I’m friends with because they’ve heard me skype with everyone I know…they also know every bad thought I’ve shared, mainly because I have an inability to talk in a low voice. Yes, I am American, occasionally I can’t help it, and they love me for it.

So this household Internet issue is getting more and more comical.

Today my señora and I played a game called: “watch what the router does”. The router has 5 lights…all of which indicate what parts of the internet are functioning, which to me seemed like a pretty basic thing to understand upon looking at the internet router, and I know nothing about technology. I previously tried to explain that because these lights were never on at the same time, this meant the internet wasn’t functioning, nor would it be able function without all these parts working together…However, telling my madre and people at IES this beforehand apparently just made me come off as an idiot. One of the directors called me yesterday to literally ask me if I knew how to push the button to turn on the machine, as my madre had previously explained to me as well…I thought I was going to kill him. Although the perception that I am a retard may have been in part this language barrier problem, but I believe it has more to do with the fact that I call every part of a technological thing a “thing” in English, and therefore in Spanish too, which probably didn’t help my case.

But alas, to hopefully come toward a solution to this Internet problem in the near future, today I proved myself to be a technological genius to my madre. Just a mere couple of hours ago my señora and I sat and watched the router for a freakin half hour while I reiterated what I said the day before. She saw on her own computer that when those lights aren’t on together, that her internet doesn’t work either, thus, she now respects my specialized and in-depth knowledge of technology. And now she and IES are willing to help me with my home Internet issue. I just got the email stating they would come help me next week, since they just talked to my señora...WIN. Halleujah.

I’m fairly sure I was suicidal yesterday, and I’m going to blame my Spanish for this one. I know I make it sound like I’m bad at Spanish, but I’m actually really not. However, immersion=no English EVER, no English means using what you know in Spanish to describe things you can barely understand in English…Between class scheduling mayhem, the internet issue, Ms. Devigne telling me I won’t graduate on time (well that’s a general issue, not as much to do with language barriers) and my extensive chats with various administrative (Spanish-speaking) people in IES yesterday about my many issues with seemingly everything…I really thought I was going to explode. I also attempted to get internet for myself at Cortes Inglés, but duh, me buying technology in English is a problem so why would it be better in Spanish... so that was never bound to work, and it obviously didn’t.

However, instead of getting upset about my many failures yesterday, I decided to participate in the midday wine tradition, as a true Spaniard would. This seemingly improved my mood and interactions with everyone around me. I think wine is going to be my new solution to all language barrier frustrations from now on. I now have a bottle of red wine called “Bach” that I bought yesterday for 4 Euro, my very own legal tranquilizer, if you will, that will be on call for events such as inability to understand my madre or explain necessities to those around me. All I need is a bottle opener and I will have my very own reality check, and as an added feature, I will also be able to speak Spanish fluently after a couple glasses. Most brilliant idea I’ve had yet.

Thank god for blogging. Now I can bitch to whomever, whenever I want. Next post is going to be really good because I’ll have had my first intercambio, which is basically a set-up hang out sesh with a Spaniard/spanish-speaker who wants to learn English. Además, me voy a saltar las paredes entre las culturas a este fin de. ¡OLÉ!

As for tonight…I’m watching Sevilla v. Madrid in a bar near plaza mayor…sorry friends in the south but my team will always be real Madrid….then I’ll be at a chupetería for Jana’s 21st birthday…and then I will somehow survive, and get up for my 9 am class. This will be interesting. Hastaaa lueegggooo